….TOT221-FEEDBACK

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TOT 221 – Week-221

“The Role of Feedback in Training”

Note:
This post is intended for trainers involved in mediation training who wish to enhance their skills by understanding the value of giving and receiving feedback.

Why Feedback Matters

Feedback is a vital component of effective training.
For trainers, offering and receiving feedback is not just a routine exercise—it is central to professional development and continuous improvement.

Trainers should feel confident in giving honest, constructive feedback to co-trainers and lead trainers. At the same time, they should remain open to receiving feedback from participants, peers, lead trainers, or any observer of their session.

Feedback, when used thoughtfully, is a powerful tool for transformation. Whether one is  giving it or receiving it,  one must approach the process with clarity, respect, and a commitment to growth.

Receiving Feedback: A Growth Mindset

A skilled trainer approaches feedback with openness and discernment. Feedback may come in various forms, and trainers should be prepared to receive:

  1. Unfocused or non-specific feedback
  2. Feedback suggesting improvements or changes
  3. Feedback that acknowledges strengths and efforts

Constructive criticism, when delivered thoughtfully, is an opportunity for real growth. It helps trainers reflect on their abilities and align their perceived strengths with actual impact—as recognized by others.

Embracing such feedback promotes accountability and helps trainers stay grounded and focused. Therefore, trainers should actively invite, welcome, and reflect on feedback—whether it is easy or difficult to hear.

However, not all feedback is useful. At times, comments may be off-topic, unsubstantiated, or presented as constructive when they offer little value. A discerning trainer must learn to recognize such feedback and filter it without defensiveness.

Five Key Questions When Receiving Feedback

  1. Who is giving the feedback?
    (What is their role or perspective?)
  2. What is the context in which it was given?
  3. What is the purpose or intention behind it?
  4. What value can I derive from it?
  5. How can I use it as a platform for personal and professional growth?

Guidelines for Giving Feedback

Before offering feedback, a trainer should reflect on the following:

  1. Is this feedback necessary and timely?
  2. Am I the right person to give it? What is my role?
  3. What is my intention in giving this feedback?
  4. How might the recipient perceive or respond to it?
  5. Will it contribute meaningfully to their development?

“Withholding feedback is choosing comfort over growth.”
– Adam Grant, author of Think Again

All copy rights reserved by the author – S. Susheela.

….TOT 220Avoiding Temptation to keep clarifying

WEEK 220

Note: The objective of this blog post is to assist those engaged in training others in mediation, with the aim of strengthening their training skills. Earlier posts may be found at totim.law.blog.

Precision, brevity, and clarity are the hallmarks of an effective presentation.
Excessive repetition can dilute the impact of the content delivered.

While clarification is undoubtedly an essential aspect of any presentation—especially in the context of mediation training—trainers should avoid falling into the trap of over-explaining.

To steer clear of this tendency, the following tips may be useful:

Tips for Avoiding Excessive Clarification:

  1. Break It Down:
    If a concept seems unclear or may not be fully grasped by all participants, break it down into smaller parts for easier understanding.
  2. Use Relatable Examples:
    Offer one or two short, relatable examples to help participants connect with the concept.
  3. Pre-Empt Likely Doubts:
    Anticipate possible doubts in participants’ minds. Frame the question yourself, ask it, and then answer it. This technique can save time and avoid derailment.

What Might Happen If You Over-Clarify:

  1. Trainers may be tempted to spend too much time clarifying a participant’s question, losing valuable session time and potentially skipping other planned subtopics.
  2. The question raised might be irrelevant to the topic being discussed.
  3. Sometimes doubts arise simply because a participant wasn’t paying full attention. If the concept has already been explained well, repeating it may not be necessary.
  4. Some participants may not have a genuine doubt—they may already know the answer and ask only to test the trainer’s competence.
  5. Excessive clarification for one participant may disengage others, leading to a loss of overall group focus.

How to Stay on Track:

  1. Make a reasonable assessment of participants’ comprehension levels at the beginning of the session.
  2. Ensure your presentation is clear, accessible, and understandable for all.
  3. Pre-frame questions within your session—ask and answer them yourself to address common concerns.
  4. Keep multiple short stories and examples in your trainer’s toolkit to illustrate concepts more effectively.
  5. Inform participants at the beginning that a specific time slot (e.g., the last “10 minutes”) is reserved for Q&A. If a question requires more in-depth discussion, let them know it will be addressed after the session or via phone or email.

Advantages of Managing Clarification Effectively:

  • Participants feel heard and satisfied when their questions are addressed appropriately.
  • The trainer’s professional credibility is enhanced.
  • The presentation remains focused and on schedule.
  • Time and content are managed optimally, benefiting all participants.

“ Never try to clarify beyond a reasonable point.” – SLAMW

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

 TOT-219 -The Trainer’s Checklist for Mediation Training Success

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TOT 219 – Week 219

 The Trainer’s Checklist for Mediation Training Success

By S. Susheela
(All rights reserved by the author)

🎯 Purpose of This Post

This post is designed to support trainers involved in mediation training by offering a practical checklist to stay prepared, professional, and confident.
To access earlier posts in the series, visit: totim.law.blog

🔑 Why Preparation Matters

Preparation is the cornerstone of effective training. A well-prepared trainer is not only more confident but also earns greater respect from participants.

Creating a personal checklist and reviewing it well in advance can significantly reduce anxiety. While not all situations can be predicted, being organized and having contingency plans ensures you’re ready for anything.

📋 The Trainer’s Checklist

Here’s a simple, practical checklist to help you stay on track and stress-free:

I. 🧳 Personal Essentials

  • ✅ Dress code sorted
  • ✅ Toiletries packed
  • ✅ Medicines ready
  • ✅ ID card in hand
  • ✅ Notes, books, pens
  • ✅ Laptop, pen drive

Accommodation Check:

  • Have I confirmed lodging and boarding with the organizer?
  • Do I have a backup plan if accommodations are unsuitable?

II. 📦 Training Materials

A. 🎭 Role Plays

Logistics:

  • Have I selected the appropriate role plays?
  • Are the learning objectives clear for each?
  • Have I printed enough copies?
  • Have I shared the materials with relevant stakeholders in advance?
  • Am I planning to share via a WhatsApp group?

Preparation:

  • Have I formed participant groups?
  • Are roles assigned clearly?
  • Have I given clear expectations to each participant?

Confidentiality & Debriefing:

  • When and how will I share confidential instructions?
  • Am I prepared to debrief effectively?
  • Have I briefed my co-trainers on their roles and received their confirmation?

B. 📑 Handouts / Study Materials

  • Do I have enough printed copies?
  • Have I sent the material to the center in advance with a request for duplication?

C. 📽 Slides & Presentations

  • Are my slides well-prepared and concise?
  • Have I identified slides to skip if time is short?
  • What if the venue’s system doesn’t support my laptop?
  • Is the presentation saved on a pen drive?
  • Have I emailed the presentation to myself?
  • Am I ready to proceed without slides if there’s a power outage?
  • What are my alternatives?

D. 🗒 Personal Notes

  • Are my session notes ready and organized?
  • Will I be able to reference key points quickly?
  • Are they logically structured and easy to follow?

E. 📝 Feedback Forms

  • Do I have daily feedback forms prepared?
  • Is the consolidated feedback form ready for the final day?

🌟 Why Use a Checklist?

  • ✅ Reduces last-minute tension and anxiety
  • ✅ Boosts your confidence
  • ✅ Enhances professionalism

A checklist may seem simple, but its power lies in consistency. Use it. Adapt it. Refine it for your needs. The results will speak for themselves.

“The Checklist  is one of the most high powered productivity tool ever discovered.”

By –  Brian  Tracy-Canadian American  author and motivational speaker

(For more training insights, keep visiting: totim.law.blog)

S. Susheela

….TOT218 Structuring-Designing-Planning

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TOT-218
Structuring, Designing and Planning

Note: The objective of this blog post is to assist those engaged in training others in mediation by providing essential techniques and skills. For earlier blog posts, please visit totim.law.blog.

A trainer must have a reasonable understanding of each of these three elements of training.
The success of every session depends, to a great extent, on these key components. The trainer must spend quality time on each of them while preparing for every session.

1. Structuring:

Structuring is primarily about deciding on the content to be delivered and organizing it in a logical sequence. It involves placing the various components of a session in a clear framework. It is similar to creating a blueprint for a building, with clearly identified rooms.

Example:-
Introduction – Theory – Concepts – Practical Inputs –  Conclusion – Receiving Feedback/Question & Answer Session

Advantages of Structuring:

  • It provides a framework for the trainer to follow: what needs to be done, when, how, and where.
  • It ensures the session progresses in a logical order.
  • Participants get a complete and coherent picture.
  • It creates a connection between different parts of the session.
  • Each part complements the others.

2. Designing:

If an analogy can be given, designing a session is like decorating or furnishing a room. During the design phase, the trainer decides what to include in the session and how it will be useful to the participants.

While designing the session, the trainer focuses on:

i) The method of delivery – facilitation, lecture, etc.
ii) Choice of training methods – role plays, storytelling, simulation exercises, narratives, etc.
iii) What will keep adult learners engaged.
iv) What will be most relevant to the learners.

3. Planning a Session:

Planning involves deciding on the timing and logistics of the session.
To use an analogy, it is like preparing to move into a newly built house—imagining how to pack and place everything you’ve decided to bring in.

In the context of training, planning includes:

  • Setting a time schedule for each activity
  • Preparing and organizing required materials
  • Having Plan A and Plan B in place to manage challenges or contingencies
  • Assigning roles and coordinating with co-trainers, participants, or technical staff

Failure in any of these three components can negatively impact a trainer’s professional credibility.

Advantages of Structuring, Designing, and Planning:

  1. The trainer can work with confidence.
  2. There is a clearly identified roadmap (Structuring).
  3. The trainer knows what needs to be done and when (Designing).
  4. The trainer is equipped with tools and techniques and is prepared for challenges (Planning).
  5. The trainer’s professionalism is evident from beginning to end.

“A Place for everything and everything in place”.

– Mrs. Beeton, English journalist, editor, and writer.

S.Susheela

 (All copyrights reserved by the author S. Susheela)

….TOT 217- FALSE ASSUMPTIONS

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TOT 217-WEEK 217

“Getting over the trap of False  Assumptions”

Trainer is required to understand the  distinction between  true confidence and projected confidence.  False   Assumptions  prompt a person to work with projected confidence.

Ex: Some Assumptions:-

Assuming that i) I know the topic very well.

ii) I can present the topic with ease.

 iii) I need  not  work on my preparation

Being  truly confident is  different from  projecting oneself as a confident trtainer  on the basis of one’s own  imaginary   assumptions.

in order to be completely confident a trainer who knows  the topic very well, who can present the  topic with ease   may also have to prepare well for every presentation,.

Confidence is achievable. It comes with hard work, experience, and expertise in the given field.  It  truly pays . The first sign of a confident person is that he /she works with ease. He/she is comfortable.  The process   is never  stressful for the confident person.  True confidence works as a fixed deposit giving  periodical returns .

When a trainer works with assumed   knowledge , the shallowness of the presentation gets evident on the training floor.   

Complete clarity  about the content/s  to be delivered, coupled with concreteness  can be achieved by hardwork, and  preparation.

False assumptions   prevent a trainer from putting the right effort and time  during  the  stage of preparation.  Procrastination gets strengthened  due to false assumptions. Many a times, false assumptions are mistaken as  Positive Affirmations.

  Trainer who works with false assumptions loses  credibility as  a trainer.

How to get out of the Trap:-

  1. Question your assumptions.
  2. Keep track of presentations by persons   who do not submit themselves to false assumptions.
  3. Observe those  whose  presentations has   (i) Incorrect information  (ii) No clarity (iii) No concreteness  (iv) Shallowness  in its real sense., and introspect where do you stand?  
  4. Work on the preparation part.
  5. Associate with knowledgeable  persons in the field.
  6. Develop strategy for improvement.

“By deceiving one another through false assumptions  there has been , in reality, a great lapse and delay in achieving the real goals.” Dalai Lama

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

Note: The objective of this blog post is to assist  the trainers giving training in mediation to strengthen their training skills. For earlier posts,  please visit,  totim.law.blog ) 

….TOT 216-UNLEARNING

TOT 216-WEEK 216

“UNLEARNING”

A trainer does not give  good training because  he/she thinks himself/herself  to be a good trainer.   A trainer  gives good training and that is why he/she can  feel   that he/she is a good trainer.

A trainer does not become a trainer  by waiting for him/she to be a better trainer. One has to work on oneself.   Every choice that a trainer makes in correcting oneself  takes the trainer to the next level.

Unlearning

At times moving away from  some  practices that  a trainer had been following all through, and, taking a strong call to give  up the same old  preferences and practices  may be  necessary.

This requires  strong conviction.  Pushing out requires lots of energy.  However it is worth it. Once  a trainer takes a call to  move away from what has to be left behind,  the mind gets calmed down. Focus gets enhanced . Stress  gets  reduced.

Example: A very reputed knowledgeable trainer  using for a session of  30 minutes,  over crowded   slides, more than 70 in number ,  each containing several lines of  complicated  information.

To address this, Trainer may work on  :-

I.PREPARATION

  1. Be repared to get constructive  feed back from those  whom the trainer   trusts.
  2.      Re work on the contents  to be delivered.
  3.      Re work on how much of dependency on slides can be  appreciated.
  4. What (only) needs to be  reflected  on the slides
  5. How can the number of slides  be  reduced without compromising on the  contents to be delivered.
  6. How can the slides be prepared without making it appear overcrowded?

II. Implementation.

  1. Prepare new set of slides.

III. Execution

i) Use  the new set   of slides  in the next training program

 ii) Invite constructive feedback from  co professionals.

III.Learning  Points:

My slides are not  giving training .

I am the trainer .

Slides are only my tools.

UNLEARNING

i)Without detailed slides  I may go out of track.

ii) I may not deliver all that I want to deliver.

  1. I have to give SOMUCH of  information  within the short

time available to me .

Advantages : Unlearning  paves way for  learning . It puts the  trainer on the right  track. Trainer feels  unburdened.

“Half of wisdom is  learning  what to unlearn .”

Larry Niven – American Science Fiction writer

(All the copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

Note: The objective of this weekly blog post is to assist the  trainers giving training in mediation to strengthen their  training skills.  For earlier posts please visit totim.law.blog   

….TOT 215- Inculcating the skill of acknowledgment

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TOT 215-WEEK 215

“Inculcating the skill of acknowledgment”

Acknowledgment is an integral part of healthy communication. Weaving It in to the process of mediation is an art.

  It  is  really challenging for a trainer to train  the mediators to be,  to get trained in this particular   skill.  Summarising  should have  strong  elements of acknowledgment. It is in this context during  presentation on the topic of  acknowledgment  and later during coaching sessions ,  trainer has to make it a point to see to it that  , trainees  use acknowledgment  as part of their summarising., and also  see to it that a proper atmosphere is set in for  the parties to acknowledge each other’s stand point  in a healthy and productive manner.  

At times, acknowledgment can also be used as a prelude to setting an atmosphere.

In the theory session the trainer has to deal with  two elements related to acknowledgment , namely, (i)  Identification  (ii) Recognition.

Trainer’s  responsibility:-

STEP-1

Trainer  has to  watch:

  1. Aftert the narrative is given by a party, while summarising , whether the trainee  has identified  what was required to be identified  ( from the perspective of the party giving the narrative) from the narrative given by the party   (ii) Whether such  recognition  was satisfactory ( from the perspective of the Party  giving the narrative) . 
  2. If need be , trainer has to coach wherever it is necessary.

STEP-2

Providing   an atmosphere for bringing  emphathetic connection between the parties:

Trainer has to oversee (i)whether the trainee sets an atmosphere  for plenary/joint session between the parties.

(ii) Whether one party acknowledges ( after listening to  the other party ‘s  narratives)  what needs to be acknowledged .

  1. Whether the party giving the narrative feels satisfied that his view points/efforts/ intentions are acknowledged in the right perspective, because those  were identified and recognised by the other party, through the  reply given by the  other party .

Twin elements:  Understanding the importance of acknowledgement  by the mediator is important.

But it is equally important to set an atmosphere  to see to it that  there is an element of mutual  acknowledgment between the parties.

Benefits:

Trainer has to bring in the advantages of  acknolwedgment  while  debriefing :-

For Example:-

Parties feel connected

It heals the wounds in some situations, where one acknowledges acts of wrong doing /mistakes committed.

“A wound  that goes  unacknowledged  and unwept  is a wound that cannot heal.”

 John  Eldredge- American Author and  Counselor

Note: The objective of this weekly blog is to assist those in the field of mediation training  to get strengthened in their training skills.  For earlier  blog posts please  subscribe/ visit    totim.law.blog

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

….TOT 214- Coaching- NSCPC

….

TOT 214 – WEEK 214

“Coaching – NSCPC”

The most important and critical part of mediation training is ‘coaching’.  

Trainer has to coach the trainees as to what can and cannot  be done , and what should and should not be done in actual mediation.

The following methodology can be used  by the trainer in  advanced trainings

Narrative:

Party  A is asked to give narrative ( prepared by the trainer).

The narrative should have multiple issues.

Party  would be  speaking about so many issues—so many persons- the picture does not look  clear – information is spread allover.

Summarising:

Mediator  divides the entire narrative into separable issues.

Summarises each issue -one by-one.

Covers all the issues.

Caucus:

Mediator sets an agenda. Personal agenda ( what the mediator wants to do and how..) ( PAS- Personal agenda setting)

Writes it down.

Mediator sits with each of the parties.

Sets an agenda with the parties.  (SAP- Setting agenda with the parties).

Writes it down.

Prioritising:

Mediator asks the parties to decide  as to  which issue  is more important to them and  then, prioritises the issues accordingly and writes it down .

  Clarification:

Lays down ground rules.

Mediator informs the parties that   as per the list of prioritisation, one issue will be taken after the other.

Requests the parties to stick on to one point at a time.

NSCPC- N – Listen to the narrative

                    S- Summarise

                    C-  Use the caucus – for setting agenda

                    P- Prioritising

                    C- Clarifying.

After following NSCPC- Mediator has to encourage conversation and discussion.

Advantages:   Mediator demonstrates professionalism .

                               Each session   conveys meaningful  message.

                               Parties see value in each session.

                              Conversations and discussions  remain streamlined.

                               Mediator gets clarity  as to (i) What is negotiable  (ii) What is non negotiable .

                   “  One way to improve business efficiency  is to streamline processes according  to schedules , required inputs and expected outputs.”

 HendrithVanlon Smith Jr-Author of Business Essentials.

Note: The objective of this weekly blog post is to assist the trainers giving training in mediation to enhance their mediation skills.

 (All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

….TOT 213-Creating and Maintaining Space

….

TOT 213-WEEK 213

“Creating  and Maintaining Space”

(Note: The objective of this weekly blog is to assist the trainers in the field of mediation to strengthen their training skills. For earlier blog posts please visit:  totim.law.blog )

‘Creating  and  maintaining space’ is one of the  essential techniques, which increases the quality of  presentation by a trainer.

A trainer has  to  constantly keep  track of the available space, and  try to move within it.  Having more room to move gives freedom  of movement.  More space gives an opprtunity to the trainer  to  work with defined objectives  and better  options.

How to create more space:-

  1. Have  clearly identified   points for presentation.
  2. Do not move beyond  the chosen key points.
  3. Do not  have  too many things to do.
  4. Remember  “Less is more” in training.

Advantages;

 Trainer   will not lose equillibrium.

Trainer will be in  complete control of  thoughts

Trainer will not be stressed.

Trainer  can focus on  clarity and accuracy.

Trainer will have more options  to integrate different training techniques,

within the  session.

Check:  Immediately after preparing for the session, trainer has to ask this question: “ Do I have enough room  to move? “  If the answer is “No”, trainer has to work on   crrating   space.

  “You can create space for anything and everything….! Choice is yours.”

SLAMW

(All Copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)        

….TOT 212-Facilitation

….

TOT 212-WEEK 212

Facilitation

(Note: The objective of this weekly blog is to assist the trainers involved in mediation training to strengthen their training skills) 

“Facilitation in Mediation”.Mediation being a process of facilitation, it is necessary that the concept of facilitation  is introduced to the participants in thei ntial stages of training and  keep strengthening it through various refresher and advanced courses .

Trainer can use this Facilitation as a technique during the training process, to (i) invite diversified views on a given topic  (ii)  understand the level of comprehension  of the participants (iii) to  involve all the participants  in training activity  (iv) understand the  capacity of transference  of the participants.

How is this done:

Intrdocution:– Trainer has to introduce a topic  in a neutral manner which may have multiple  views.

Questioning:- Trainer  has to  start asking questions   to get answers from each and every  person in the training room.

Questions  have to be   preferably closed ended .

(Caution should be taken that the answer does not go beyond  two sentences)

Trainer may have to  be prepared with several questions, to be asked very quickly ,  one after the other , so that  every one is on the toes..

Without losing the  objective of the exercise  ,the questions have to be well chosen, and have to be meaningful, and leading the trainees  to  answers.

Recording the answers:

Trainer has to draw  two or three columns . ( Using  Flip chart/ White board – marker etc)

Start  noting down the answers in a short form , one below the other.

Conclusion

Trainer has to sum up  all  the views  expressed by  all the participants , under different heads , and give a concluding remark, which again will have to be a neutral and yert  complete  in essence.

Preparation:

Trainer must have a list of topics thoughtfully chosen for facilitation

Example:

  • Is it necessary for the mediator to  disclose the confidential information to the other party , just because permission is given  by a  party to divulge the same?
  • Can mediator give proposal?
  • Should mediator do mediation with the children also in child custody matters? 

Debriefing:

Trainer  has to  explain to the participants, how this concept  of facilitation can be imported into actual mediations?

How a mediator has to  invite  differing views  from the same group /or both groups of parties and  note down and summarise at the end, and leave the option  open to  each party to take decision.,  can be highlighted by the trainer.

Ex(1) :  In a suit for specific performance, whether one should accept (a)   refund of money with interest  etc or  (b) insist upon  sale of land.

  • Collect the views regarding  advantages   and  disadvantages of   option (a)
  • Collect the advantages and disadvantages of option (b)     

Note it down, and place it before the  party

Ex(2) :  Is it  appropriate to enter  into settlement?

“The primary work of the facilitator is done  in silence, and to the  untrained eye it may look as if  the facilitator  is not doing naything at all.”

Excerpts from the book  “The  Art of  Facilitation “ by   Dale Hunter- Canadian Professional Ice  Hockey player and  Coach  – as  noted down by  RJT Chapman- Facilitator

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

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