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TOT 158

WEEK 158

Mistake -Remedy

(To be used in advanced training programs).

Imparting Practical  training is the most difficult part in any training program.  However, the importance of  imparting the  theoretical knowledge cannot be ignored. Once the basic  concepts are introduced  by the trainers the trainees may develop the habit of reading further relevant material  on each of the topics  dealt with in the forty hours’ training program and   move forward  towards  gaining further knowledge .  Often a big  gap  is noticed  in many trainees  in assimilating   the theory  part with the practical part.  They are seen getting  struck during the  role plays. They are seen feeling  struck in live mediations. This situation is  understandable when it comes to mediation being  very effectively done, but the parties not agreeing on settlement terms.

In such situations, a mediator may put the following questions to oneself:-

             A)Where did I go wrong?

B)What could I have done?

• What Could have been avoided by me?

 How does the trainer help the trainees  in understanding the value of these  questions and meeting the same.

STEP-1-Preparation.

1. Lead Trainer  chooses two  or more trainers to play the role of  disputing parties/third parties in a role play.
2. Chooses   a person from amongst the trainees to play the role of  mediator.
3. The (trainer) parties  must know when to give in and when not to.

STEP-2

i)As the role play proceeds,  whenever a mistake is noticed by the lead trainer, the

 word “ Mistake” is written on the  board.

The participants are asked to  write  a single sentence about the mistake noticed, (if they could identify it).

Trainer goes around each of the trainees and finds out , how many have identified the mistake, and how many  have not.

How many have  correctly identified the mistakes .

Trainer announces the mistake.

Trainee mediator is asked to carry out the corrections.

Role play proceeds further. 

Wherever the trainee mediator is unable to correct the mistake..trainer writes “ REMEDY” on the white board.        

STEP-3

           Each of the participants is asked to suggest  the remedy in a single sentence.

Lead trainer goes around and finds out how many  of the trainees know how to handle the situation and how many do not., and how many have suggested the right step.

Trainer suggests the chosen  remedy  in a single word – single sentence.

Trainee mediator is asked to go ahead.

If one suggestion does not work, lead trainer picks up the other suggestion offered by an another  trainee.

This technique  is generally used in advanced mediation training programs.

Advantages:

1. The mediation process takes place in the most dignified manner.
2. Lead trainer does not speak much- excepting for the  use of the word/s “ Mistake”/Remedy” or a sentence about “ suggestion”.
3. No one else speaks, and there is total seriousness involved in the learning process.
4. Every trainee  is actively involved.
5. Every trainee assumes the role  of “mediator” , even though not seated in the mediator’s seat.
6.  How differently each mediator thinks can be understood .
7.  Trainees understand the role of co-mediators.

• Trainees understand the value of brainstorming and  collective thinking.
• Trainees understand  how the observer mediators  can effectively  assist the lead mediator , as shadow mediators, without obstructing the mediation process.

“Alone we can do so little; together  we can do so much.”- Helen Killer

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)  

Setting an agenda is a wonderful communication technique.   When this is required to be used as a skill one should have worked a lot on it.  This is an under surface  communication skill which does not get noticed  explicitly. However one can feel the essence of it , when a trained mediator  who has  mastered this skill effectively uses this skill in mediation.  It is always a challenge to the trainer to train the trainees in this specific skill.   

Setting an agenda is part of  strategic management of  each of the  mediation sessions.  In mediation the direction may not be visible all the times. Each of the parties, at times even the third parties may be  trying to lead the mediation towards a goal as identified by each of them   . However it is  the mediator who has to  understand this strategy of each of the  disputing parties and third parties, and then set an agenda, which moves  all of them towards resolution of the dispute.  

As a first principle , ‘Setting an agenda’ can be understood as ‘Preparing the time table’.  ‘What is to be done next’  must be  visualized by the mediator, written on the paper and  then projected on the mediation table as part of mediation process.

Following steps are  helpful:-

1. Identify the problem

First step is to see (a) What exactly is the problem

(b) Whether  both parties have the same problem

© Whether  both parties are looking at same solution

Example :After 2-3 sessions mediator understands that

Party A wants divorce and alimony

Party B wants reunion.

Both  PARTY A and Party B want the individual custody of children.

 In this scenario  Problem of Party A looks opposite  to that of  Problem of Party B. Their expected solutions also differ.

2. Understand  the reasons

what actually are  the reasons (according to each of the participants)   for the problem?

Discuss with each of the parties  about reasons  based on which they have identified the problem.

3.Choose and Exchange the  reasons

Mediator may choose some of the  reasons and  exchange  the same  ( after  taking permission), hiding the source ( by avoiding even the least chance of remote  effect of reactive devaluation).

4. Re-Structuring the problem

Mediator to assist the parties in restructuring the problem  if required.

(i)See whether  every one sees the  problem as the same.

       5. Towards solution

Mediator to assist the parties in restructuring their expected solutions:-

Assist them to see : (i) Even if the problems are different whether a common solution can address the problems of both.

Preparation:

For each of these steps  2-3 vital questions  – navigating points have to be identified by the mediator. It is ideal to note them down on the paper and then proceed.

Trainer’s role:-

1. Choose a role play.
2. Ask the chosen parties to  give their narratives
3. Ask  the trainee mediators to   follow the procedure laid down in steps (1) to (5) .

Note: (This method is generally adapted in advanced  training courses only)    

“The essence of Strategy is choosing what not to do.”

Michael E. Porter- American economist and founder of  strategic management.

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela).

Summing is  an excellent communication technique. It is very useful  in the training process. It is equally useful as a special tool for the mediators. From both these perspectives, a trainer has to weave  the elements of   ‘summing up ‘ in training, at every stage ,  in a methodical manner.

Following steps may be  followed:

1. Introduce and explain the concept.
2. Give example/exercise/case history
3. Explain  the essential elements of the concept through the  example/exercise
4. Sum up : (i) A line about concept (ii) A line about example (iii) A line about where this concept would be applicable/ useful

ROLEPLAYS:

As a lead trainer  playing the role of mediator always sum up what happened in each session.

• What were the main points discussed
• What were the concerns addressed
• What needs to be done  in the next  session.

As a coach:

Insist that at the end of every session the trainee mediator sums up what transpired in each session.

Insist that the trainee  mediator gives  a home work to the parties , in order to see to it that they  attend the next session with preparation.

The contents of  home work should  be specified  by the trainee mediator  by way of summing up.

It  would be  better if  at the end of the every session the  notes of summary  is made and preserved. This would  avoid the participants repeating what all they had said in the earlier sessions.

“A fist is more than the sum of its fingers.”

Margaret Atwood-Canadian Poet novelist

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)        

TOT -155 – WEEK 155

“Unsuccessful  in the first round”.

Many want to be recognized as trainers . However  at the  very first instance , only some get recognized as potential trainers. All those who get selected as potential trainers, may not get certified as trainers.  Notwithstanding undergoing several intensive trainings in between, many fail to  reach the final list of trainers.

Together with  strong  internalized content knowledge (i) Ability to communicate  (ii)  Competence as a trainer  and (iii)  Inculcated  skills have to be evident in a trainer .

Some areas of concern

Not working on the following areas 

A) Not asking “ W “ questions  at the preparatory stage.

i) WHAT is to be  communicated – Quality and quantity analysis

ii) WHY  is it  to be communicated – Reason behind choice of subtopics/exercises/story/case history

iii) WHEN   is  it to be communicated   – Timing – Whether at the beginning or in the middle or at the end of the session., etc

iv) WHERE  is  it to be communicated –  Understanding the  audience – need assessment-

B) AVOIDING LOOSE ENDS

i) over confidence  (ii) Taking things for granted (iii) Under estimating the capabilities of the trainees

iv)  Attitude indicating “Who will know if I commit mistake?” (v)  Casual approach – attitude indicating  “My preparation is enough”  .

C) MIS CONCEPTION

(i) Training is all about talking about what you know.  (ii) I know what to talk  (iii) I have the ability to talk

“If you don’t know  what you want to achieve in your presentation your audience never will.”

Harvey Diamond- Coauthor of ‘Fit for life’ .

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

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TOT 154-WEEK 154

“ POTENTIAL TRAINER”

Before one thinks of   getting   certified as a  trainer  to give training in mediation, one’s potential to be  trained as a trainer should get  reflected. Many  fail  in the very first stage of getting selected  as  potential trainers.   Notwithstanding one being an excellent  mediator one may not be recognized as  a good trainer. The number of mediations  conducted by a mediator  alone will not entitle  him/her to be a trainer. 

‘ Number ‘  may be a value addition, but can never be the sole determining factor.

 Qualifications  of a trainer are distinct . Strong content knowledge , thoughtful  time management techniques , effective presentation skills are three basic  requisites which should be evident in a trainer.

In order to get recognized as a potential trainer  , one may consider working on these areas:-

1. Flawless-flowing -confident -informative opening statement.
2. Fundamental understanding of the concepts ( as  mentioned in 40 hours’ curriculum) related to mediation.
3. 4-5  basic points on each topic and sub topic.
4. Good  simple short examples/case history .
5. Understanding the essentials of facilitation.
6.  Understanding  the essentials of designing a curriculum for any training program.
7. Deeper understanding of coaching skills.

STEPS:

i)Read the material related to basic concepts related to   mediation multiple times ( at least  more than fifty times), to internalize the same.  

 ii) Rehearse the opening statement multiple times. Record the same and watch it again and again . Send the recording to  friends and seek  their honest  feedback.

iii) Speak on any sub topic  for -5 minutes- record it and watch it again and again and work on corrections.

iv) Take a story- example- case history- speak about it for  three minutes. Conclude it with a message related to mediation .

v) Form a small group of 5-6 . Choose a specific topic.  Keep aside 30 minutes’ time. Give  presentations for five minutes ,  one after the other. Express frank feedback . Help and get helped in correcting the mistakes.

vi) Over a period of time, gradually increase the duration of  presentation  on a given topic from 5 minutes to 10 minutes, 10 to 15 minutes etc..

  “Our potential lies between what is and what could be.”

Kim Butler

(All copy rights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

“Coaching” – ‘ FOUR  STEPS ‘ TECHNIQUE- MCDR

 Ultimate objective of any    Mediation  training  is to  enable the  trainees to be competent to perform their  role as  mediators. There has to be perfect synergy between the theoretical and practical aspects of mediation.  Through role plays, the trainees are  strengthened  to be come competent mediators. During the role play the role of the trainer is so very important that the trainer stays with the participants,  and  guides them properly.

Following   steps have to be meticulously followed by the  Trainer/Coach:-

Background work to be done by the trainer

Observe attentively.

Observe through out the role play ( not just intermittently).

Note down where the trainee mediator needs corrections.

Note down where the trainee mediator needs improvement in his/her understanding of the theoretical concept behind the practical aspect.

Demonstration of coaching

Frame i)  Word/ Sentence  pointing to the mistake.

ii)Frame a   sentence  suggesting correction with reason

iii) Frame the  corrected version.

FOUR  STEPS ‘ TECHNIQUE- MCDR

1. Mistake – Point out the mistake ( in one or two  words or single sentence)
2. Correction – Suggest the correction ( in one or two  words or single sentence)
3. Demonstrate – Demonstrate what needs to be done
4. Replay- Ask the trainee to replay the corrected version.

“A Coach is someone  who tells you what you do not want to hear, who has you see  what you don’t want to see. So you can be who  you always  known you could be.”

(Tom Landry- American Professional Football player and Head Coach)

(All Copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)  

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TOT 152-WEEK 152

“Loss of time”

“Time “ is the most important and valuable resource for a trainer. Credibility of a trainer depends more on how well this  resource is managed. Trainer must always be watchful and attentive   during the session, to see to it that, the allotted  or available time is managed well.

‘What ‘ is delivered in the given time would also depend upon ‘how’ it is delivered. These two factors are further governed by  another factor “ why “it is to be delivered?.  Unless these three factors are taken into consideration before and during the session , time   cannot be successfully managed.

Many trainers ignore the fact that just because they are standing on the training floor  throughout the session period ( may be one hour / 30 minutes..etc), it would not mean that they have successfully used the time allotted to them.  Quality of delivery within the allotted time would always matter.

Some reasons for loss of time:

1. Poor preparation:  a) Lack of planning (b) Lack of content knowledge (c) Lack of knowledge about segmentation (d) Lack of knowledge about  presentation skills ( e) Not working on what is to be delivered and why it is to be delivered.

1.  Too much on the plate

Being under  self imposed pressure to deliver more  on each  subtopic.

Trying to get into “information overloading’.

iii)Not keeping the  points /notes  ready

Searching and Reading from the manual/note sheets.

Unable to find the relevant point  from the bundle of sheets/ number of prepared slides.

1. Not knowing how to handle questions

Trying to  answer  open ended questions asked by the trainees.

Trying to put open ended questions to the  trainees.

Being hell bent upon  convincing the trainee on a point without understanding that session time   is getting lost.

Entering into heated arguments/unwanted conversations.

Trying to answer questions  outside the purview of topic under consideration.

Trying to clarify the question asked by a trainee to the trainer in the earlier session/s, though not relevant for the present session.

Not knowing the technique of “deferring”.

Not working on the technique of  asking “closed ended questions”  .

• Division of time

Not  going through each part of the  curriculum carefully. Not working on how much time is to be taken for each sub topic., exercise, pre briefing-de briefing , example, case history etc.

• Talking mode

(a)Getting into talking mode , ignoring the professional role. (b)  Talking  without substance. (c) Going out of track. (d) Using the head  line of the topic  again and again without touching upon the  relevant information  . ( e) Struggling hard to remember the points, but still continuing  the session. (f) Reading one line after the other from the manual/ notes sheet and  trying to translate it word by word.    

• Difficulties associated with the use of technology

(i)Not knowing how to use the lap top (ii) Not knowing where  exactly the relevant slide is stored (iii) Not preparing the slides for the given program but relying upon the slide/s prepared earlier for some other program  (iv) Not bothering about the font size and background color of slides – which would result in trainees taking more time to understand the contents.

• Lengthy examples- case histories-stories

Trying to give minute details of the instance/story/narrative/example .

Not working on examples/case histories well before .

Not knowing how to tell the story line  in a condensed  form and how to reach  to the “message part”.

Taking a very complicated example – wherein many roles are involved.

Taking a difficult  exercise, wherein the participants are unable to understand “ what the exercise is about”.

Not calculating how much of time it would take for “Pre briefing”  before the exercise.

Not being candid about  the instructions to be given in simple  , small sentences.

ix)Repetitions

Repeating a simple concept many times

Telling the same point in different sentences

Talking about the same example again and again

Giving the information delivered by another trainer in the previous session/s.

Giving the very same example given by the other trainer in  earlier session/s  

but with more narratives .

Getting into topic/subtopic covered by the other trainer/s in previous session/s.

x.Getting struck with one sub topic

Unable to move from one  sub topic to another.

Not planning in advance as to how long one can stay with a sub topic.

Trying to give more and more inputs on one sub topic , and thereby losing time to cover other sub topics.  

“Time Management Success always leaves evidence of effort, follow-through, productivity , and achievement.”

Ty.Howard- Author-Motivational speaker- coach.

(All Copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela).

Using a story to bring home the point is a fascinating  technique.  Some  trainers do it effortlessly.   However this technique cannot be used without  reading, analysing, internalizing and contemplating.  It needs lots of homework.  The moment a story is read  and understood,  the following steps  may have to be followed:-

1. Where do I use this story?
2. How do I use this story to bring home the point?
3. To which content – do I link this story?
4. How short  can I  make this story?
5. What is the message I am going to deliver through this story?
6. In which other contexts  can I  use the same story?

Example: 

Story: Everyday a  lady was  fetching water from  quite a  distance  in two buckets. One bucket was having three holes.  The water was leaking.  However the lady was carrying water in both the buckets. She would shift her hands to carry the buckets. By the time she reached home there would be a bucket full of water and another one with very less water. Some one asked why wouldn’t she  either  close the holes or get an another bucket.  She said” the leaking bucket would water the plants  along her walking path to the well from where she would get water.  There is greenery on  either side with small flowers because of the water.  It is enjoyable to walk along this path. I don’t  feel the strain  of fetching water multiple times. “

(Time taken to tell this story 1.30 minutes).

Where  do you use it in mediation training:-

Role of third parties – Role of advocates.

Possible Question: Why should we give importance to third parties? Or Advocates?  Can we not avoid them?  At times they would  adversely affect the  resolution.

 As the lady is carrying a leaking bucket some times mediator may come across  person/s whose  participation may look  pointless and counter productive. How best their role is made use of is a   challenge to the mediator.  Where they cannot be avoided, mediator may think i) How do I set a proper atmosphere  for resolution, making use of these persons? ( Like the walk path to fetch water being made pleasant.)

How do I not avoid their role ? ( Like the leaking bucket also being used.)

How do I make the process enjoyable and acceptable  to the parties? ( As the lady enjoyed her   

Job of fetching water.)

Total time taken – 2 minutes.

Thus within 5 minutes’ time the story line is used to convert the notion  of the trainees about   possible disturbing role  of third parties into that of co operative role.

TIPS i) Trainer is required to keep number of stories in the trainer’s kit.

         ii) Should mark on each story-  where he/she would be using it.

iii) Trainer must inculcate the  skill of telling the story in the shortest form without losing the message.

iv) Can also think of  giving the  handout of the short story in not less than ten lines and ask the trainees how do they use the message from the story to the   topic under consideration, and may use this technique to convert the session into an interactive session.

  “The human species  thinks in metaphors and learns through stories.”

(Mary  Catherine Bateson-American author and Cultural Anthropologist.)

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela).

“Transforming the Mindset – Strategy ”

The greatest challenge to a mediator is to know whether the parties are interested in getting the matter settled through mediation or not.  In matters involving high stakes  this is a common problem.   Any amount of  energy spent on the process without  touching upon this issue  will not give expected results from mediation. 

PART 1:- Trainer has to equip the trainees to understand the  following possibilities:-

i)Both the parties are not interested in getting the matter settled  through mediation , but have been participating in the process with a different strategy.

ii) One of the parties is not interested in getting the matter settled  through mediation , but has been participating in the process with a  hidden agenda.

iii) Either or both of the parties  have not taken a decision as to whether they should take a final decision or not but they are open for considering settlement through mediation.

iv) They are open for settlement  provided their terms are considered by the other side.

The   mediator has to  get  a feeling of the situation from the verbal cues and body language of the parties, in the first three categories .

Mediator has to address this issue indirectly but very effectively.

How to bring a transformation in the mindset of the parties to  participate in mediation with an open mind, keeping aside their decision not to take decision  regarding resolution of their dispute through mediation is a great challenge.

PART 2:- To address the same following steps are  to be kept in mind:-

1. Some elements of opening statement are reiterated.
2. Some case histories are  mentioned without compromising on  issues of confidentiality.
3. An atmosphere is set in such a way that  parties start getting trust in the process as well in the mediator.
4. Their concerns or  fears about mediation  are delicately questioned and tried to be addressed.    

How are the trainees trained in this:

Step 1: Trainer identifies  parties  to play different roles .  Gives specific instruction to each of the parties  as to , to which group they belong in categories (i) to  (iii) of Part (1) .

2) Asks a trainee to play the role of mediator, and asks her/him   to try to bring a transformation in the mindset of the parties, so that they participate with an open mind.

3) Asks the mediator to frame the question/s in mind  or on paper before hand  and then proceed.

4) Asks the trainee mediator to  use two specific techniques (i) Setting an agenda (ii) Setting an atmosphere together with questioning skills.

Note: This exercise is to be used only in advanced courses

“Strategy without tactics is the  slowest route to victory. Tactics without  strategy  is the noise  before defeat..”

Sun Tzu – Chinese Strategist and Philosopher

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)

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NAVIGATING

Mediator speaks the least in any mediation. The parties are  encouraged to speak more. However the mediator navigates the  flow of thoughts.  Mediator encourages parties to express their thoughts in words, in order to ensure that the parties get clarity on their intended course of action.  Navigation is generally done through effective  purposive questions.  What questions are asked, when and how and where  and to whom , all play a vital role in any mediation.  In order to  strengthen this skill of asking questions  in the trainees trainer has to travel an extra mile.

Following method can be  used;-

1. A chosen role play is given .  Participants  are  formed into  different groups.
2. After first few sessions, ( One joint  session, one or two private sessions), four trainees amongst  the participants playing the role of party/s are  separated.
3. Four  persons are chosen to play the role of mediators.
4. Each of the  four persons ( Party )  is  asked to go to  one of the four mediators.
5. 10 minutes time is given  .
6. In the allotted ten minutes the mediator  is supposed to  ask  3 effective questions.

( All questions must be either “WHY/WHAT /HOW/WHEN/WHERE?” questions only.   Mediator is not permitted to ask a combination of all the types of questions but stick on to one particular form  only. 

Ex: Why do you think this happened.

       Why did he do it according to you?

Why do you consider this as an insult?  Etc..

(All “WHY” questions)

This exercise is done in advanced courses only.

Pre briefing by the lead trainer , as to what needs to be done  is very important.

( Parties should not begin with their narrative from the beginning, as everyone would have  participated in the mediation process till then).

In a caucus  of ten minutes between the mediator and the party, mediator starts the discussion with one of the questions. In ten minutes’ duration, mediator is not supposed to ask more than 3 questions.

FEEDBACK:-

        After the exercise, each party  is asked to give feedback as to:

1. The relevancy of the questions
2. Whether the questions asked were helpful in their decision making process.
3. Was there just a movement or progress  in the session.

ADVANTAGES;

Trainees are trained in asking effective questions.

They are trained in cultivating the habit of formulating a question helpful for the parties in the decision making process., before actually asking the question.

They are in complete control of navigation of the process.

Their professionalism gets reflected.

“Execution  is a systematic process of rigorously discussing hows and whats, tenaciously following through, and ensuring accountability.”

Lawrence Bossidy- American Author and a business executive.

(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela)