Week 40: Working through Examples

One of the essential requisites of Training in Mediation is that concept and application should come together.  

In order to fulfill this, it is ideal to use the (i) examples and (ii) questions.

Using examples is based on the principle that “What is unknown or not known can be understood or made to be understood through that which is known”.  

Using questions in learning process is based on the principle that “questions clarify the concepts”.

The first principle

Working through Examples

Concept

1. Dispute may be the result of a conflict
2. Conflict is a situation.
3. It arises when needs and/or interests and/or values and /or goals of one person overlaps with the needs and/or interests and/or values and /or goals of another person.
4. Need is something which cannot be negotiated but has to be satisfied.
5. Interest defines ‘why a person wants what he wants’
6. Values – “Principles/standards that are strongly believed by individual/s.”
7. Goals – End towards which effort is directed (Merriam Webster) 

Example

Case history:

Suma, a rich lady, who is married to a rich Mohammedan businessman, has filed a suit for partition against her widowed mother and two unmarried sisters. Property is a small house, which is the self-acquired property of her father.

Background:  

Suma wanted to get married. She did not want to negotiate on this (NEED)

She was interested in marriage because she was deeply in love with Usman. (INTEREST)

Suma had faith in humanity and did not believe in caste restrictions.  (VALUES)

Suma’s goal was to get married to Usman within 3 months, as he was moving to Gulf thereafter. She feared that he may not return from Gulf and may get married to someone else there.

Suma’s father: 

Suma’s father was focused on getting his daughter married at the right age as a responsible father.

(ESTEEM NEED) – Refer to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

He was interested in getting his daughter married because he was afraid that otherwise she would marry someone from other religion. (INTEREST)

He was against inter-caste or inter religion marriages. (VALUES)

After everyone convinced him about good nature of Usman, Suma’s father agreed for the marriage.

His goal was to get Suma’s two younger sisters married first, and later get Suma married with Usman. (GOAL).

Suma was unwilling to wait. She got married to Usman facing opposition from her parents. Suma’s father died. Suma’s mother and sisters did not allow her to be part of the family. Suma filed suit for partition, even though she was not interested in taking 1/4^th share in a small house.

ANALYSIS

In the above example though the needs and interests of Suma and her father were different, they did not overlap much. They were just differing needs and interests.

Their values overlapped.

Their strongly differing goals did not allow them to compromise.

Conflict is a situation which arises due to overlapping of needs, interests, values, goals or anyone or more of these of one person with that or those of the other.

Conflict arose.

Suma, who was very rich, filed a suit for partition against her poor mother and unmarried sisters.

Dispute is thus the result of conflict in the above referred case.

TIP FOR TRAINERS

While explaining a concept, ‘Develop the thought systematically and in sequence’.

CAUTION

Random thoughts will not take anyone anywhere.

“Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.”

A.A. Milne – English Novelist, Playwright and Poet

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(All copy rights reserved by the author S.Susheela)