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TOT 197-WEEK 197
TRAINING TO UNDERSTAND WORDS & MEANING
(To be used in Advance Training)
NOTE: (The objective of this weekly blog is to help Trainers giving training in mediation to upgrade their skills).
Words play a vital role in disputes. Meaning attributed to each of the words plays vital role in Mediation. As a mediator one has to understand the impact of words as well as their meanings. A very skilled mediator understands what needs to be understood and in what context. Which word may have to be used and in what context is the essence of communication. Was there communication gap? Do the parties need a channel to have a meaningful communication between them? are some questions to be considered during the mediation.
How effectively mediator coins the words and sees to it that the effect of such words will move the party/s from their pre fixed positions is a challenge.
Secondly how effectively the mediator sets an atmosphere to see to it that the meaning behind the words used by the disputing parties is brought out on the mediation table is an another challenge.
Trainer has to equip the trainees in deciphering this. This , notwithstanding being a great challenge, acts as a key to open doors to resolution.
How to do this?
Give a situational role play., explaining what happened till there was a total impasse.
Give the final answer of the party Ex: “ I want to go back to Court”.
Ask each of the participants to write the probable meaning of this expression “ I want to go back to Court”. Give them an option to write 5-6 meanings
Ex: (i) The party is dissatisfied with the behavior of the other party/s/ mediator/lawyer/s?
(ii) Party has better BATNA
iii) Party is not satisfied with the options
iv) Party wants to see to it that the other side loses, and is not comfortable with win win situation
v)Party has strong expectations about success through litigation
STEP 2: Discuss with the party and find out the succeeding part of the expression “ I want to go back to Court”. , which has not been expressed in words.
How to achieve this?
Mediator can frame a question like this: “ Mr…you said “ You want to go back to Court”. I respect your authority to take decision. Can you help me understand Why do you want to go back?
STEP-3 : Depending on the answer, work on the understanding of the disputing party.
Trainer’s worksheet
Trainer has to keep a list of situations like :” I want to take the child from mother and keep it with me.
I want to quit job.
I want to sell the property.
I do not want to stay with my mother in law..
I cannot agree on giving fifty percent.
He has no right in the property.
I did everything for the family ..
( Each of these statements will be in different situational role plays) ..
Challenge: Identifying which statement made repeatedly by the disputing party/s requires better understanding.
Advantage
Trainees understand when party is making repeated statements, it has a special meaning to them, which they are unable to communicate.
Nothing is an ambit claim.
When a stand looks like an ‘adamant stand ‘, there is a possibility of deeper meaning to the stand /position taken by the party/s.
We cannot take words at their face value.
“Communication loop gets completed when the listener understands what is really important to the speaker and why?” SLAMW
(All copyrights reserved by the author S.Susheela).
Training of Trainers in Mediation 